Tag Archives: Managing Stress

Find Balance to Achieve Peace of Mind

Image by Nelosa
Image by Nelosa

Reaching high levels of professional and financial success at any cost has been the modern-day Mecca to multitudes of business men and women for several decades.

Unfortunately, the attainment of such an all-consuming goal has not produced the peace and happiness that was expected. There was a dark side to success.

Fairly recently, the question of balance and its impact on mental health and happiness has taken center stage in many circles of psychological research. Dozens of studies have been conducted and published on the subject as companies and individuals alike have noticed that their chaotic lifestyle has not produced the happiness they hoped to achieve. The cost has greatly outweighed the benefits.

The majority of these studies agree on one thing – there is potential for incredible benefits from living a balanced life filled with interesting and varied experiences rather than living with an all-consuming focus on career.

The studies also included some important findings about the effects of stress. Stress is not always detrimental to health and happiness. In fact, a bit of stress here and there is actually healthy, for both plants and animals – it stimulates growth and development. It depends on the source of the stress, how relentles it is, and how it is managed.

Professional Burnout

The danger comes when relentless stress pounds the mind and body and the individuals accept it as the norm. They cope with it the best they can; but allow no time for recovery from the depletion of resources.

Professional burnout from chronic stress debilitates the individual to the point that s/he can no longer function effectively on a personal or professional level.

Psychology Today tells us that

“Burnout is one of those road hazards in life that high-achievers really should be keeping a close eye out for, but sadly – often because of their “I can do everything” personalities, they rarely see it coming.”

The individual may suffer with any or all of the following:

  • Physical and emotional exhaustion
  • Sleep deprivation
  • Chronic fatigue
  • Cynicism, anger, detachment
  • Feelings of ineffectiveness and lack of accomplishment
  • Bouts of anxiety and depression
  • Physical illness

Professional burnout does not happen overnight. It comes on slowly, overtime, making it difficult to recognize.  There are warnings signs, but there are rarely recognized until it is too late.

The human body thrives on moderation. In spite of that being a fairly well-known fact, there are huge numbers of people who gravitate toward extreme lifestyles. They tend to be adrenalin junkies with a need for more and greater challenges.

It may be a psychological compulsion to escape the sea of sameness that drives them to seek everything in unhealthy proportions. But, whatever the cause, there is an endless list of good reasons to avoid the rat race and live a life of moderation on all fronts.

The Pressure Starts Early

A close look at America’s higher education system is good case study for what is happening. As knowledge increases, and job requirements become more demanding, the amount of curriculum required to graduate from college goes up, while the time allotted for completion of tasks goes down.

This places students under incredible amounts of stress. If you are a recent graduate or have a child in college you are probably aware that symptoms of chronic stress are everywhere – poor eating habits, lack of sleep, chronic anxiety and depression, poor quality of work, and a decreasing appreciation for study.

As a nation, America, has created such high expectations and placed such high stakes on a single four-year period of life that the pressure is almost unbearable. Even the students with the highest scholastic standings begin to dread the moment they have to open a text book.

High schools are not much better. Even the elementary schools are intense. Kindergarteners and First Graders have homework! Is it any wonder than many children hate school?

The problem is simple. When you put too much emphasis on a single focus, and create too much pressure around it, eventually even pleasurable activities become drudgery. The joy of the activity itself is smothered by the stress connected to it.

A good illustration of this is that many artists decide to keep their art as a hobby or recreation, rather than pursuing it as a profession. They realize that if their livelihood depended on their art, the pressure would dampen the fun, and joy of creating would lose its magic.

In America the one aspect of life where this principle is most blatantly violated is work/life balance. American professionals push themselves beyond reason their entire lives with the goal of retiring early and enjoying life more. Unfortunately, they often get the early retirement in the form of an unexpected permanent vacation because they literally work themselves to death.

Today, even a “typical work week” is extreme – more often than not it is 60 to 90 hours rather than 40.

A Series of Unhealthy Extremes

In order to cope with the unrelenting pressures, people turn to energy drinks, alcohol, ice cream, cheesecake, and other comfort foods and activities to dim or wipe out the memories of everything that happened during the past week – or that they have to face in the coming week.

Life becomes a series of unhealthy extremes – each one throwing everything else more and more out of balance.

The Solution is Simple

Simple – yes! But, not necessarily easy to incorporate when you have been on the fast track for years.  It is called BALANCE!

Limit the number of hours you work each week – cut it down to at least 50, but 40 would be better. Disconnect from your electronic leash at the end of the day and on the weekend.

After a busy day at work, make it a practice to enjoy a nice dinner with family or friends.  Plan time in your schedule in the evenings or on the weekend to do something you really enjoy – painting, hiking, swimming, basketball, reading, going to the movies – anything that is FUN and takes your mind from the pressures and responsibilities of work.

When you take the time for self-care on the weekend, going back to work on Monday morning will be much easier. You will have decompressed and regenerated enough that you will be able to handle work stress and the occasional crisis with grace and dignity – and let it go when it is over.

Daily and weekly rest and relaxation stabilizes you emotionally and psychologically. It is a much wiser strategy than working nights and weekends 95% of the year so that you can take one extended annual vacation.

Developing a nice balance of work, rest, and fun throughout the week increases overall satisfaction with life.

Balance and Moderation in all Things

The human body and mind were not meant to handle excess.

Balance and moderation can be applied universally in life, whether it is eating, sleeping, exercise, entertainment, socializing, study, or work. For example, the body does not do well when you starve it for three days and then binge eat for three hours.

The secret of good health and peace of mind is striving to find balance in every facet of your life.

Be sure there is time in your schedule to purchase fresh, healthy foods, to prepare tasty meals and allow plenty of time to enjoy them. Eat regular nutritious meals every day to provide the necessary fuel for your miraculous body to function at the highest level.

Regular exercise in moderation is also a key factor to mental and physical health, as is regular social interaction, regular eustress (a good form of stress that can actually increase our performance at a task and your general happiness and sense of well-being), regular sleep habits for adequate rest, and regular relaxation.

The word “regular” comes from the root “to regulate” which means to keep things in their proper proportions.  But, even regulation can become extreme. If you obsess over counting calories, timing your exercise to the second, and stress when you only get seven hours and twenty minutes of sleep, you need to loosen up a bit.

It is not uncommon for people to go from an extremely chaotic lifestyle to an extremely regimented one. Flexibility is critical to a balanced life. Being able to go with the flow is important.

There will be days – even an occasional week when things get out of balance. That is to be expected. It is perfectly OK, as long as you do not allow it to become the “norm” again and slip back into a permanent pattern of imbalance.

Other Possible Dangers

When making the shift from a chaotic, extremely hectic life to a more normal pace, there are some common pitfalls to avoid.  One in particular is going to the opposite extreme and taking the stance that life is to be “lived fully.” That you should stop taking life so seriously and do whatever makes you happy – whenever you choose to do it – no matter what anyone else thinks.

This approach also carries with it the potential of great dissatisfaction. Meaning and direction in life, both personally and professionally, are powerful factors that contribute to health, happiness, and fulfillment.

If you remove the meaning from your work, then you remove the reason to work at all. It is the same with life. In fact, many of the happiest people claim that their source of joy comes from finding a deeper meaning to the everyday aspects of living.

The lesson to be learned from all this is that extremes of any kind are dangerous.

Recognize your physical and emotional instincts and live a lifestyle that accommodates them, but does not make you a slave to them.

Moderation and balance are the keys to a peaceful, joyful life.   

 

Stop Stress Eating at Night

Stress eating can happen any time of the day (or night).  In fact, it is usually worse in the evening.  So, every effort should be made to stop stress eating at night.

Stress Eating at Night
Image by artisticco

You have a hard day at work, or one of the kids give you grief after school.  Finally, dinner is over, dishes are cleared, and everyone is asleep except you.  You are finally alone and have time to relax. It is so nice and quiet.

Unfortunately, there is also too much time to think about the day and everything that has happened, or might happen. It is all TOO MUCH!

All you can think about is eating something sweet and yummy – the great distractor – to make you feel better. AND . . . you deserve it! What can you do?

There are a few tips I can share that may be helpful.  They work for me; maybe they will work for you, too.

When You Want a Snack – WAIT!

This is a tip that not only works in the evening, it is a good one to use anytime of the day when you have the overwhelming urge to grab an unhealthy snack between meals.

Find some other way to distract yourself. Ignore the urge for a few minutes. Tell yourself you will get the snack after you take care of “one more thing.”  This gives your body time for the craving to disappear so you can move on with healthier activities.

After 15 or 20 minutes, if you are actually feeling hungry, then maybe your body really needs something.  Go for a healthy snack of fruit or a small handful of nuts to take the edge off until meal time (or bedtime).

There is a good chance the craving will fade and  you will know that you were in “stress-eating mode” rather a real need to feed your body. Plus, you will have made it through without giving in.

Clean-out Your Pantry – No Junk Food Allowed

Take the necessary steps to make night-time stress eating difficult.  Clean out your pantry, freezer and refrigerator. Get rid of all the chips, ice cream, buttery popcorn, hot fudge, cookies, pretzels, and any other favorite munchies that you typically have readily available.

When you have multiple choices of favorite unhealthy snacks lying around, you will almost always go for them. It is difficult to choose healthy alternatives when stress is in control of your mind and body.

If your pantry is bare of such temptations, you are more likely to eat a healthier substitute that you have on hand than you are to jump in your car and drive to get something unhealthy.

When your pantry is clean, make healthy options easy to find and eat. Always have fresh fruit you can peel, or cut up quickly. Also, keep small portions of raw nuts like almonds, cashews, walnuts, packaged in snack-sized baggies ready to grab and munch.

Hard-boiled eggs are great for a quick evening, high-protein snack – even a few slices of real cheddar cheese, or apple slices dipped in almond butter.

Snacking can be fun and healthy if you want it to be.

Always Eat at the Table

Eating should be reserved for the kitchen  or the dining room.  When you get used to eating in the living room, your favorite recliner, or in bed, you will have a much harder time breaking the night-time stress eating habit.

In fact, eating in any of those places creates a double whammy bad habit. You are not only stress eating unhealthy foods, you are doing it in parts of the home that are meant for relaxation (not eating). It can easily lead to overeating and serious weight gain.

For the health of the entire family, make a strict rule that meals and snacks are only eaten in the kitchen, breakfast nook, or dining room.  No eating should be allowed on the sofa, the recliner, in front of the TV, in the office, or in bedrooms.

Establish a Healthy Evening Routine

How do you wind down and get ready for bed?  That may be part of the problem.

If you make it a habit of grabbing a bag of chips or a big dish of ice cream to eat in front of the TV before you go to bed, you have already established a pattern that must be broken.

Change things up! If your family enjoys dessert, serve smaller dinners so they have room for a small tasty dessert that is served at the end of the meal, with a nice cup of tea or coffee.

Start a tradition of enjoying conversation with the whole family over dessert.  Then clear the table and have the whole family go into the living room to watch a little TV before bed.

Or, take a leisurely walk around the block – a great way to relax before settling down for the night.

Another great way to de-stress is to use aromatherapy while taking a long bath. It clears the mind, relaxes the body, and helps release tension for a better night’s sleep.

The more relaxed you are the less likely you will be to indulge in stress eating at night.

I would love to hear your thoughts and suggestions for a good evening routine.

What ideas to you have for de-stressing and relaxing in the evening before bed? 

Empowerment through Mindful Meditation

Man in business suit meditating
Image by pressmaster

Mindful meditation releases you from the noise of life and allows you to be present in the moment. It raises your awareness and brings a sense of peace and well-being. Through this form of meditation you can change your life in subtle and powerful ways.

You do not practice this type of meditation to create upheaval in your life or to make drastic changes. It is practiced to help you recognize “what is” in your life, right now, and live in the present.

It is easy to get caught up regretting what has happened in the past and worrying about what may happen in the future, and as a result,  lose the present. That is not living. It is mindlessly moving through life in limbo.

There are many “gurus” or meditation guides that can help you learn to meditate; but, I recommend Tom Cronin of The Stillness Project because his focus is on Mindful Meditation – living in the present moment. Tom Cronin is a Global Meditation Authority, Teacher, Life Mentor and Author.

Those who use Mindful Meditation on a daily basis do not hide their heads in the sand and ignore whatever is happening in their lives, they learn to love life as it is and to accept themselves as they are – warts and all.

Life happens! There are good things and bad things that happen to everyone. The peaceful moments that can be experienced through Mindful Meditation relieve you from the stress of wishing things were different. It gives you the clarity to realize that there is no need to want to be different than you are; or to live in different circumstances than those that surround you.

You cannot escape your circumstances. Yes, we all crave the “good” in life and embrace it with great joy when it happens – and are continually seeking that happiness. But . . . when the “bad” appears, we shun it, we run from it, and even pretend it isn’t happening. Unfortunately, we cannot run away from ourselves.

Mindful Meditation provides the quiet stillness in which you can look closely at what is happening in your life – right now – rather than fretting about what you wanted to happen and stewing about the life you don’t have. The stillness allows you to tap into your inner vision and through quiet observation develop a clarity that you do not normally have.

When you refuse to accept “what is” in life, and fight a constant battle in your mind about things you want to change, or would like to avoid – you cannot experience the good that surrounds you; and in fact, your inner battle makes the “bad” worse. Wasting mental and physical energy trying to escape your reality will drain you to the point of exhaustion – and changes nothing.

Through Mindful Meditation it is possible to learn to see the daily events of your life for exactly what they are . . . your life. This is the only way to gain acceptance of “what is.”

Mindful Meditation allows you to be completely present in your life – for all the moments, good and bad. It will give you the personal power to open your mind and heart to the point that you will be in control of your life – not of what happens, but how you interpret it and how you deal with it.

Tom Cronin’s Stillness Project will help you achieve this present state of mind. If you want to begin walking down a different path that is filled with peace, you can sign up to participate in an event that will join more than a million people in meditation at once.

You will feel empowered in many different areas of your life – your relationships, your health, your job, even your financial situation.

With acceptance and clarity, you will realize that there is no such thing as “good” and “bad” – there is only “What Is” and you will have the quiet strength to work with what you have.